Does your highly sensitive child seem overwhelmed? Highly sensitive children (HSC) process the world around them intensely and deeply. The result is that highly sensitive children are more quickly overwhelmed than other children.

Here are six ways you can recognise that your HSC is overwhelmed. In other words, signs that your child’s bucket is full and they need your help.

Remember that all children are different and so the extent to which an activity, event or environment overwhelms a child also differs, and how that overwhelm manifests itself differs too.

1. Your Child Retreats to a Quiet Space

A child may retreat to a quiet space and express the desire to be alone. Creating a space they feel comfortable in, where they can go to as and when they want will help them deal with their emotions. It may be their bedroom, or elsewhere in the house.  Use a Happy Sensitive Kids door hanger to help them communicate that they need peace and space without a long discussion.

Should you be outside your home, identify an area when you arrive in a new place where your child can retreat to if they need space. Agreeing on a safe, quiet place before the need arises may ease your HSC’s mind a great deal.

2. Your Child Displays Big Emotions Without Obvious Reason

Your child may suddenly display emotions that seem disproportionate to something that just happened or they just experienced. Meltdowns or tears may seemingly come out of nowhere, but is the result of a build up of emotions over a period of time.

A common example is a meltdown once a child reaches the safety of home, triggered by the wrong word uttered by a sibling at the end of a school day. At that point it’s the build up of stimulation from the classroom, rather than the comment from a brother that’s behind the big emotions but a HSC no longer has control over their emotions – and their bucket spills over.

3. Your Child Shows Anger

Your child may suddenly become angry, go into an (unexplained) rage or even be aggressive. This is especially true for young children who cannot yet regulate their emotions or put them into words.

Walking around with a full bucket is frustrating and tiring. An overstimulated child who cannot understand why they are feeling the way they do often ends up resembling a volcano.

This is common in our house around bedtime when one of my children realise that their bucket is still full. Sleeping right away isn’t an option – there’s lots of stomping and frustration coming out.

Helping your child out their anger or frustration in a controlled manner will ensure that nobody gets hurt! Good ideas are a punch bag, a cushion or pillow to hit, a football to kick or get them screaming as loud as they can – or simply a hug. There are lots more ideas in this book to help.

4. Your Child Cries Uncontrollably

Your child’s frustration, anger or overwhelm may also manifest itself in the form of tears. Lots and lots of uncontrollable sobbing. It’s heartbreaking to watch. Holding your child whilst they out their feelings with tears can be exactly what they need.

Don’t tell your child to stop crying. Instead let them know you are there for them as soon as they’re ready to talk, if they want to.

Sometimes a child reaches the point where they simply cannot take anymore – and have no control over their emotions. In these situations there’s nothing worse than being told there’s no need to cry…….

5. Your Child is Hyperactive

Your child may literally bounce around the house, with energy that feels like it knows no bounds. This is one of the reasons that external parties often mistake ADHD for high sensitivity, for example, where in actual fact a classroom is simply too stimulating for a highly sensitive child.

A HSC is often a model pupil in school who sits still and does what is required – holding all their emotions, experiences and thoughts in.

This bottling up will manifest itself in some way – and that may be with hyperactive behaviour. Channel that energy into activities that will help your child release everything that has been bottled up during the day – running, football or creative expression.

In other words, work out your child’s bucket emptiers. There are 101 ideas in the Happy Sensitive Kids book.

Try a bucket box.

Finding what works is trial and error.

6. Physical Signs a Highly Sensitive Child is Overwhelmed

Our bodies are masterful at letting us know when we have had as much stress as we can take. If your HSC often complains of physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches then listen.

Whilst they may not have a virus or sickness as such, what they feel is real. Their bodies are not coping and physical ailments that disappear quickly are a telltale sign of feeling overwhelmed. Some children even get an unexplained fever, particularly towards the end of a school week. Give them the time and space to recover. Your highly sensitive child’s overwhelm is real.

It may seem to the outside world that your child is acting up. Others telling you you’re making a fuss or spoiling your child, or allowing them to get away with undesired behaviour, makes parenting a highly sensitive child tough.

Comments from ‘helpful’ bystanders will certainly make you doubt yourself and your parenting skills. However, learning what lies behind outbursts and behaviour enables you to intrinsically trust your instinct and support your child accordingly.