How to Help a Highly Sensitive Child with Anger: Look at the Why
Is your highly sensitive child often angry? Explosive even? A highly sensitive child is easily overwhelmed by the world around them. They feel things intensely. And that overwhelm or distress commonly outs itself as anger and frustration. This month on Happy Sensitive Kids we’re going to look at how you can help your highly sensitive child with their anger.
The first step is looking at why your child expresses anger.
What is Anger?
We all get angry. It’s a part of being human. Getting angry is our natural fight instinct taking over. Think of it as a shield we put up to protect ourselves.
Children who feel overwhelmed or frustrated may lash out, or attack, in order to regain a feeling of control. Or their anger may be a tool to help them feel safe.
Anger is often an emotion that overcomes a child. Anger easily scares a child. And a child often needs help with their anger.
Children, developmentally, do not have the tools on hand to manage their anger. In fact, many adults don’t either. How we show anger is often learned from those around us.
What Lies Behind Your Child’s Anger?
Understanding why your child feels angry is the first step to being able to help your child.
Anger indicates that your child feels off balance. Anger often hides a deeper emotion. Our first job is to understand what that hidden emotion actually is.
Is anger the response to overwhelm? Is it related to a certain situation that makes a child anxious or stressed? Perhaps a child is nervous or embarrassed and responds with anger. It could be frustration at losing a game.
Is it tiredness or overstimulation?
What we often see with highly sensitive children are meltdowns after a busy day or a day at school. Anger is then actually a result of overstimulation. And that is something we can work with as parents.
In short, there are many reasons why a child feels anger.
Keep a Record
I encourage you to keep a record of the triggers that lead to your child’s anger outbursts for up to a month. Simply write down the circumstance, the date and day and what your child has been doing that day. Is it before or after school? After playing with another child? Before soccer training? Record as many details as you can.
Does the same situation trigger the same angry reaction from your child?
Is your child angry on certain days?
You may be able to pick out a discernible pattern. Once you know what consistently triggers anger in your child, you are better armed to help your child.
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