Why and How Highly Sensitive People Avoid Crowds

For as long as I can remember I have preferred to avoid crowds. Until I realised I am a highly sensitive person I never really knew why, or even thought about why for that matter.

There’s even a website for people just like us: Avoid Crowds.com.

Avoiding Crowds Has Always Been My Thing

As a teenager, my friend and I regularly frequented afternoon film showings in a small local cinema. We would often have the cinema to ourselves and they are fond memories. No rustling of sweet papers, no crackling of popcorn, no chatting from other moviegoers. Back then avoiding crowds wasn’t particularly a conscious decision. we simply chose the quieter times of day. We’d go to evening runs of movies too – but those quiet movie afternoons were definitely my favourite.

I also preferred the quiet evenings in the pub with friends. Music playing quietly in the background meant we could talk to each other and not shout over background noise.

We went to nightclubs too, and those evenings were fun too. But it’s the intimate chats in quiet pubs that stick out in my mind as the cherished moments.

One Exception to my Crowds Rule

The only exception to my ‘avoiding crowds’ rule is going to football matches.

I love attending football matches. That’s soccer for my readers in the USA.

Why HSPs Don’t Like Crowds

The reason is simple: a crowd means there is an awful lot of sensory stimuli. There is noise, movement, colours – and a heap of emotions flying around. For a HSP that means overwhelm. There is no way one person can process all the stimuli in a crowd, and so there is an overload, a malfunction of the system if you like. And so a crowd becomes stressful.

Avoiding Crowds Takes Planning & Discipline

Fast forwards a few decades and I am still opting for days out and visits to places where we avoid crowds. These days it’s not just for my sake, but for my three children too.

Avoiding the crowds takes planning. We avoid the opening days of new events and let the mad rush subside before we head there too.

As a family, we don’t target Bank holiday weekends for visiting theme parks.

We choose mornings over afternoons for shows, so it’s a little quieter.

We’ll opt for the side events instead of the main events.

We let a film run a few weeks at the cinema before we go to see it.

And If You Can’t Avoid Crowds? Plan Bucket Emptying Time Afterwards!

Of course, sometimes we bite the bullet and do it anyway but then we plan in quiet time afterwards. We make allowances for frazzled boys and lower our expectations.

Like when we visited the Nemo Science Centre in Amsterdam. Man, oh man it was busy. The tempers in my family started flaring. We all started feeling irritated and grumpy and I was physically and mentally exhausted by the time we walked out the doors at the day’s end.

Don’t get me wrong, the museum was wonderful and my children had a great day – but it was draining. The noise was overwhelming at times, we were jostled at every exhibition and I was overloaded by the amount of children bumping against me and hurtling through us as we walked around.

I had reckoned on it being quieter than it actually was. We went with the flow – and picked up the pieces afterwards. Luckily we had a planned a quiet day the next day – and we all needed it for sure.

The trick is to understand our children’s (and our own) triggers – and understand the effects those triggers will have on us all. That understanding goes a long long way to helping us parent our highly sensitive children.

Over to You – Do You Avoid Crowds?

Do you steer clear of the crowds? What are your triggers? What overwhelms you? Are they the same triggers as your children’s?