When to Consider Therapy for Your Highly Sensitive Child and What to Expect

There have been a number of questions from parents about whether therapy can help a HSC. Michael Vallejo, a licensed clinical social worker with a private therapy practice, answers those questions in today’s guest post. Over to Michael……

You may be considering whether therapy is an appropriate next step for your HSC. Therapy can provide guidance and tools to help your child cope better with their sensitive traits, especially if they’re having a hard time. In this post, we will discuss what a HSC is and how therapy can benefit them.

Understanding Highly Sensitive Children (HSC)

A highly sensitive child (HSC) experiences the world in a more intense and deeply emotional way compared to others. They might notice the smaller details in their environment and feel their emotions more deeply. They are also empathetic and can easily pick up on the emotions of those around them. 

HSCs are sensitive to sensory stimuli and may feel overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or busy environments and are also more sensitive to pain. They need plenty of downtime after overstimulation.

Moreover, HSCs often have a perfectionist tendency, tend to be cautious, and may struggle with change or time pressure. 

While HSCs face more challenges compared to less sensitive children, they also have strengths. For instance, they have a greater ability to connect with others on an emotional level. Because of their attention to detail, they can thrive in academic settings or creative pursuits.

Renowned psychologist Elaine Aron studied highly sensitive people and children. She created the highly sensitive child test to help you determine if your child falls into this category. 

Recognising and understanding these traits in a child can help you adapt your parenting style to best support and nurture them.

Signs Your HSC May Benefit from Therapy

High sensitivity isn’t a formal health diagnosis. However, it’s a personality trait that has been well-studied and documented. As a parent, it can be helpful to explore the reasons behind your child’s sensitivity. 

In some cases, highly sensitive individuals might also have conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or autism. For example, a highly sensitive person may experience a traumatic event that leads to PTSD. Understanding the root causes can provide valuable insights into how to best support your child.

The following signs may help you determine if your child can benefit from therapy:

• Persistent overwhelm: If your child consistently struggles with feelings of overwhelm, they can learn healthy coping strategies and other tools to manage their feelings.

• Sensory sensitivities: Sensory stimuli such as certain clothing textures, loud noises, and bright lights can impact a child’s functioning and cause distress. Therapy can provide strategies for managing sensory overload and increasing sensory tolerance.

• Difficulty handling emotions: HSCs often experience emotions very deeply, which can be overwhelming. If your child is struggling to regulate their emotions or cope with daily stressors, therapy can help them develop emotional regulation skills.

• Perfectionism tendency: Perfectionism may cause HSCs to feel pressure to meet high standards, which can contribute to feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. It can also cause excessive self-criticism, and fear of failure, and impact their self-esteem, which can be overcome with the help of therapy.

• Difficulty adapting to transitions: Therapy can help HSCs develop skills to cope with transitions such as starting a new school, moving to a new home, or experiencing family changes such as a divorce.

Aside from these, consider seeking advice from a professional even if your child is not showing signs of struggle. Therapy can help them learn effective skills to cope with stress, regulate emotions, improve communication, and socialise with others. Moreover, therapy is a safe space for children to understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.

Therapy can also serve as a form of preventive maintenance to address potential issues before they escalate. 

Deciding on Therapy for Your HSC: Important Considerations

Take a moment to think about your child’s needs, what difficulties they’re facing, and what’s happening in their life. Pay attention to any concerns you may have, such as their struggles with handling stress, aiming for perfection, or feeling overwhelmed by sensory input.

Observe how your child behaves, their emotions, and how they interact with others. Watch out for signs of distress, trouble managing situations, or any difficulties that might suggest they could benefit from therapy.

Next, consult professionals who have experience working with HSCs. 

Pediatricians, psychologists, and school counselors who have previous experience can help provide valuable insights and guidance. When looking for a therapist, consider factors such as their qualifications, approach to therapy, and compatibility with your child.

Remember that therapy is an ongoing and collaborative process, so you are encouraged to communicate with your chosen therapist for updates and concerns. 

What to Expect in Therapy for Your HSC

When you take your Highly Sensitive Child (HSC) to therapy, the therapist will start with an initial assessment, which allows them to get to know both you and your child. They’ll ask about your child’s emotions, behaviors, and any difficulties they may be facing. In therapy, your child will find a safe space to express themselves freely.

Together with the therapist, you’ll set specific goals for what you want to accomplish through therapy. During sessions, your child will have the opportunity to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. They’ll also learn practical tools to help them manage stress, deal with their emotions, and overcome challenges they may encounter.

Therapy can also equip you with strategies to better support your child.

Below are various types of therapy that can help HSCs:

• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help HSCs change negative thinking patterns and behaviors to healthier ones. Moreover, CBT therapists can also equip HSCs with coping skills to manage their emotions effectively. This approach to therapy can help children who struggle with perfectionism or negative self-talk.

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT can teach HSCs skills on how to regulate emotions, improve relationships, and cope with stress. Moreover, a therapist can also teach distress tolerance techniques, which can help teach children how to handle tough emotions and situations without making them worse. Distress tolerance skills are often called “crisis survival skills” because they help a person get through tough emotional times. 

• Play Therapy: Play is the natural language of children. It allows them to express themselves, explore their feelings, and make sense of their experiences in a way that feels comfortable and non-threatening. Play therapy encourages imaginative play and creative expression, which are strengths of HSCs. 

• Family Therapy: Family therapy offers an opportunity for parents and caregivers to learn more about highly sensitive children’s unique traits and needs. By providing psychoeducation about sensory sensitivity and related challenges, therapists can help families better understand and support their HSCs.

Beyond Therapy: Supporting Your HSC at Home

When kids know their parents are there to help and keep them safe, they feel safe to explore and be themselves. For highly sensitive kids, this support helps them see their sensitivity as a good thing, not a bad one. When parents always show love and acceptance, their kids feel more sure about sharing their feelings and thoughts.

Here are ways to support your child at home:

Create a calm home environment

HSCs easily get overwhelmed by sensory stimuli and chaotic environments, so a calm and predictable home environment can help them thrive. For example, instead of bright lights, install soft lights in their bedroom. 

You can also designate quiet and peaceful areas in the home where your child and other family members can relax, especially when overwhelmed.

Respect their boundaries and personal space

Compared to less sensitive children, HSCs may need more personal space and alone time to recharge. Encourage them to communicate their needs and preferences and allow them to take breaks when they feel overwhelmed.

Pay attention to your child’s nonverbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These signals can indicate when they need space. Additionally, always ask permission before entering their personal space.

Help your child build a daily routine

Consistent routines and schedules can help your HSC feel safe and secure by reducing anxiety and providing a sense of stability.

Start by understanding what your child enjoys and what makes them feel comfortable. This could be as simple as a peaceful morning routine without rushing. Another example is suggesting to take breaks during the day to relax or do activities they enjoy.

Teach self-care activities

Self-care activities can help HSCs manage their emotions and sensory experiences. For example, you can teach them about deep breathing exercises to help them calm down when they feel overwhelmed or anxious. 

Spending time outdoors in nature can also have a calming effect that can help them feel grounded and connected to their surroundings.

Another example is to involve them in different sensory experiences so they can learn their triggers and sensory preferences. Activities such as playing with textured toys or bins filled with sand or water help with this discovery.

Model healthy coping skills

It’s important to show Highly Sensitive Children (HSCs) how to handle their feelings and deal with tough times by modeling healthy coping skills. Children learn by imitating the people around them.

For instance, when things get tough, try to stay calm and not get too upset. Instead, use healthy ways to deal with stress, like taking deep breaths, talking about feelings, or doing something fun. 

Share how you feel with your child, and explain why you feel that way. This helps them understand that it’s okay to have emotions.

Focus on their strengths, not weaknesses

Celebrate your child’s strengths, talents, and qualities, because this can help boost their self-esteem and confidence. For example, you might take notice of their creativity, empathy, or attention to detail. Support the things they enjoy doing, even if they’re different from what you like.

Lastly, celebrate when they do something new or brave, even if it seems small. 

Conclusion: Building a Thriving Future for Your HSC

Your support means the world to your child. Remind yourself that you’ve got what it takes to help your child navigate their sensitivity and grow into a confident and resilient individual.

If you’re struggling, remember that you’re not the only parent going through this. Reach out to other parents or professionals for validation, support, and advice.

About Michael Vallejo

Michael is a licensed clinical social worker with a private therapy practice in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He specialises in helping children and teens with mental health concerns and is passionate about providing effective and compassionate care. He is an advocate for mental health awareness, and is the founder of Mental Health Center Kids, a website that provides resources and support for parents, teachers, and mental health professionals who care for children and teens.