Help a Highly Sensitive Child Start School, One Little Step at a Time

Starting school is a huge step for every child. It’s an even bigger step for a highly sensitive child. A new school is a new environment to come to terms with. Schools are busy. And they are full of new people. There is separation anxiety to tackle. There is change to process. There is a huge transition to master. Many highly sensitive children struggle with starting a new school – and their parents too.

You Learn From Experience

When my eldest started primary school we made a mess of it. My husband and I didn’t realise the impact then that my son’s highly sensitive characteristics would have on him starting school. We just didn’t know enough then. We learned the hard way.

Whilst it’s no consolation for my eldest, my other two sons have had an easier start on their education journey because of the lessons we have embraced along the way.

When my youngest son turned four it meant he too could start at primary school.

Up until that point, he attended a peuterspeelzaalfor two mornings a week.

Time to Get Used to A New School

At first he was busy with wennen, a few mornings before he actually started. This was an introduction to his teacher, his classmates, his classroom. He could form an idea of how his days would look in primary school.

Transition is Hard for a Highly Sensitive Child

There were tears. There were bursts of anger because he didn’t want to go to a new school. Through the eyes of my highly sensitive three year old all that change was bad, scary.

“Te spannend!” he shouted through his tears.

And I agree. It is a huge amount of change in one big bang; from a few hours a week to full time education just around the corner of his fourth birthday.

So his school life began slowly but surely, one step at a time. First he just did mornings, one day at a time. Whatever he could manage. I let him take the lead.

I wanted primary school to be a fun, positive and exciting experience right from the start for the last of my brood. Third time around I know exactly what a drain starting school can be on a brand new four year old. I know how difficult a new environment for a highly sensitive child can be.

Teachers Make the Difference for a Highly Sensitive Child Starting School

Unfortunately, I also know that without the understanding and support of a teacher starting in school can be a negative, upsetting experience for a highly sensitive child.

My eldest son didn’t have the benefit of my experience and wisdom when he first stepped into his classroom. His school start was rocky to say the least. It ended in a change of school.

So third time around I planned ahead. I talked to my youngest son’s teacher.

She knew he’s sensitive to change, nervous about new things, before he joined her class.

I stayed for the duration of his first morning in school. The second morning there were tears, but there were already trusted faces in the classroom so the tears quickly subsided.

There were still tears as I left him in the classroom for a third time, short-lived ones, but tears nonetheless. However, this time around I knew he would be fine as I headed out of the school.

Little Steps Before Starting School Helped

One morning he asked, as he lay snuggled in bed,

“Mama, am I going to the big school today?”

“Yes,” I told him, and he leapt out of bed with cries of “yippee”.

“I’m going to big school, I’m going to big school,” he sang as he danced around our living room wiggling his bottom at us.

I dropped him off and he barely looked at me as I left his classroom. He was deep in conversation with the little girl sitting next to him on their tiny chairs. There were no tears, just smiles and excitement. My heart soared as I walked home.

Early days but he felt quickly at home in his new classroom.

He’d had the time to adjust, and that is vital for a highly sensitive child.

His teacher already understood him before he started. She made time for him, did all she could to make him feel comfortable in a new classroom. She took the time each day to prepare him for the following day.

Over to You

How did your highly sensitive child take to starting school? How did you handle the transition? What would you change if you could do it all again?