Why That Light Bulb Moment is so Important For Your Highly Sensitive Child

My ‘aha’ moment, my light bulb moment, came when my eldest son was around the age of three. His preschool teacher noticed how he watched from the sidelines in school and it took months of preschool before he would join in, and even then it was hesitantly. She witnessed the reluctant goodbyes at drop off which invariably ended in screaming, tears and kicking as I left the room. She saw how he refused to jump from the bench when they were in the gym. She noticed how he preferred to play alone in a quiet corner, away from noise and activity. She remarked how he cried when others cried – how he seemed to take on other children’s emotions.

“Have you considered that he may be highly sensitive?” she asked one day when we went to pick him up.

No, I’d never even heard of the term highly sensitive, let alone considered my son to be highly sensitive. The first thing I did when I got home was hit the Internet. I found Elaine Aron. I ordered The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them and read it cover to cover as soon as it arrived.

Not only did I recognise my son in those pages but I recognised myself too. My childhood. My emotions. The vision I had of myself. I had found a puzzle piece that had long been lost.

So I ordered The Highly Sensitive Person and read that from cover to cover too. The lightbulb just kept glowing brighter and brighter.

When you have that ‘aha’ moment as the parent of a highly sensitive child, family life just suddenly makes more sense. Knowing that your child is highly sensitive doesn’t solve everything, but it certainly helps. You suddenly know why things are the way they are, why your child reacts the way he does. And when you understand the why you can move on to the how. And that’s when things start getting easier.

I have recently had readers getting in touch to tell me that things they have read on Happy Sensitive Kids have triggered their light bulb moment, that things suddenly make sense. I cannot describe how delighted that makes me – because that moment when you realise your child is highly sensitive is important. It’s the catalyst for change. It triggers understanding and support – and most of our sensitive kids need those things more than anything else. Support and understanding. Oh, and a huge dollop of acceptance. That’s the magic recipe: support, understanding and acceptance.

How did you come to understand that your child is highly sensitive? Share your lightbulb moment!

Why that lightbulb moment is so important for your highly sensitive child


About Amanda van Mulligen

Mother, writer, author, blogger. Born British, Living Dutch. I have three Dutch sons and a Dutch husband and I blog about Turning Dutch and raising highly sensitive children.
This entry was posted in The What and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Why That Light Bulb Moment is so Important For Your Highly Sensitive Child

  1. Pingback: 7 Ways Dr Elaine Aron Helps You Parent Your Highly Sensitive Child | Happy Sensitive Kids

  2. Pingback: 21 Essential Resources for Highly Sensitives | Happy Sensitive Kids

  3. Pingback: Highly Sensitive: How is it Diagnosed and Why Does it Matter? | Happy Sensitive Kids

  4. Pingback: The Day I Became the Mother my Sons Need Me to Be | Happy Sensitive Kids

  5. Thank you so much for taking the time to share these wonderful words! Amazing that you were lucky enough to have a teacher with so much insight and it set you on a path. I’m glad you ended up here!!


  6. Choosing Joy says:

    My HSC is just turned 7. I hate to say it but my husband and myself and my older child all thought her a little bit of a moaner – until recent events forced me to look at it differently. She had her first anxiety attack on a trip a few months ago and I decided to get to the bottom of why. It lead me to my doctor (who was not much help as she does not have any “disorder”), her teacher and ultimately to “happy sensitive kids” and Elaine Aron’s highly sensitive child which I am half way through at the moment. There have been many light bulb moments – in fact, I think I might be in the running for a spectacular chandalier for them! The first was at a meeting with her teacher who had kept a journal of observations on her for a week. She was the one who pinpointed what it might be. The next was shortly after that when I read “understanding your highly sensitive child” and began to realise that I could help becuase I knew exactly what she was experiencing. It’s been fantastic to chat with her about it and tell her that I understand. She feels much better, is less prone to upset and I now know when she is upset how to calm her and help her through it. It has made me more patient, more careful and I have slowed down. NEVER a bad thing for anyone. I’m learning daily at the moment thanks to what I managed to find out online. THANK YOU from all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

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