It’s Not Always Easy Being the Parent of a Highly Sensitive Child
Being the parent of a highly sensitive child (HSC) means parenting differently. You learn how to parent your highly sensitive child as you go along. You learn to be one step ahead, thinking about events coming up, planning days so as to avoid sensory overload for your child. Parenting a highly sensitive child often means saying no to family and friends.
Learning How to Parent Your Highly Sensitive Child
My eldest highly sensitive child is at his best when there’s a routine to stick to. He is at peace when things are predictable for him. That means stepping in and making unpopular decision. Such as not letting him stay up late to celebrate an uncle’s birthday twenty kilometres away. And parenting him is about shielding him from the criticism that our decisions generate.
Parenting him means giving him advance warning of any changes coming up, or events that are not every day occurrences.
It means thinking twice before agreeing to every play date after school, or family visit at a weekend after a particularly busy week.
Parenting means learning as you go along, never truer than when learning how to parent a highly sensitive child.
Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child By Looking at the World Through Their Eyes
Parenting a young HSC means always being on your guard, trying to see the world through younger eyes, listening with younger unprotected ears, trying to anticipate sensory triggers in a child’s environment.
As my child has grown, so has his awareness and own defences. But he is still learning. Until he has mastered the tools to operate successfully in a world that wasn’t designed for highly sensitives, I have to help him. And how I do that has been a learning process, an individual process that is different for all of us.
The bad news is that there is no instruction manual on how to parent a highly sensitive child. The good news is that you can learn how to parent your child by observing, learning from when it goes wrong, and listening to your child. You will understand your child’s needs and adapt accordingly. You will learn in time what tools they need from you.
Be Your Child’s Shell Whilst They Grow Their Own
Parenting a highly sensitive child is like providing cover for a tortoise whilst his shell grows strong enough to protect himself. It’s also about knowing when to withdraw that cover.
It’s tiring not always being able to be spontaneous, but it’s necessary.
And yes, it’s sometimes difficult to think of creative solutions to sensory overload problems. But you will become adept at it.
It’s not easy finding the balance between encouraging my son to take enough down time and ensuring that he doesn’t feel banished to his room to be alone.
It’s a challenge to make sure he reaches out and makes friendships whilst his natural instinct is to be cautious around new people and places.
Encouraging without pushing is an essential parenting skill for parents of HSCs.
Sometimes parenting a HSC amounts to walking on eggshells. It’s always about adaptation, planning and acceptance. And in the majority of cases, if not all, you need help.
Dear friend, family and stranger, being the parent of a highly sensitive child is often tough in ways you can’t see. And my family and I could sure use your understanding, support and most of all, your acceptance.
