How to Make a Calm Down Kit to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child

Each of my sons had a calm down kit in their bedroom when they were younger, or a bucket box as we called it. Each calm down kit was full of items they could use when they needed quiet time to reset, or recharge.

A calm down kit is a simple tool a child can instantly access when they need to empty their bucket. And the great news is that bucket boxes are simple to set up.

A Highly Sensitive Child’s Bucket Fills Quickly and Easily

My children came home from school full of stories of moments, activities they had undertaken, experiences they had, and emotions they had juggled with.

They had concentrated hard on their school work.

At break time, they had played boisterously on the football field or playground.

They may have dealt with harsh words from another child.

It’s possible they fell and grazed a knee in school, or seen one of their friends stumble and hurt themselves.

They may have had a replacement teacher, an unknown face and unfamiliar teaching style before them for the day.

They may have celebrated a classmate’s birthday.

Or struggled with a maths question.

It may have been gym class that day.

Each school day is different, but each day takes a lot out of a highly sensitive child. Every experience, emotion and moment finds its way, unfiltered, into their imaginary bucket. The fact is that the bucket of a HSC fills quicker than that of other children.

And generally, they don’t empty those buckets until they get into the safety of home.

Recognising a Full Bucket

A child carrying a full bucket home from school may be tearful, angry, obstinate, unreasonable, silent or hyperactive. You can read more about recognising when your HSC’s bucket is full here. If you see that your child is struggling then it’s wise to guide them to take some time to focus on emptying their bucket.

Emptying a Child’s Bucket

There are many ways a child can empty their bucket. What works for one child may not work for another. Through trial and error you can work out what works for your family.

Creating a dedicated quiet corner for a child to retreat to is a great idea.

Some children will retreat to their rooms and cherish alone time.

My youngest always took himself away upstairs and built with Kapla until his bucket was empty. He enjoyed alone time when his bucket was full.

My eldest, on the other hand, wasn’t so keen on being alone in his room.  He would seek out time with me or his father, or a quiet activity with one of his brothers. Or he would sit in a room where we were and read, or play with Pokemon cards, or draw. Or just sit.

My middle son sat somewhere in the middle. His quiet time often involved a chess board, or Lego, or a book. Sometimes he chose to be alone in his room, other days he needed ‘time in’ with one of us to help him empty his bucket.

Bucket Boxes

I got my children to the point of accepting that full buckets need to be emptied before they busy themselves with activities that add to the already overflowing buckets.

However, when a child is feeling overwhelmed it can be hard for them to think straight. Emotions take over. My children often struggled with what activity to do to empty their buckets. Suggestion I made were met with, “I don’t know where it is,” or “I can’t find it,” or “I don’t have that in my room”.

So I bought three plastic boxes, which they decorated with stickers,  and sat with each of my sons filling those boxes with items they often played with or used to empty their buckets after a busy activity or a school day. You can use a decorated cardboard box or a basket. It can be anything you have on hand.

What Goes in a Bucket Box?

This is what went into those boxes.

Noise reducing headphones

Take the edge of noisy environments. For some HSCs, noise can quickly add to an already-full bucket – or be the final drop in that bucket. Noise-reducing headphones can give your child a little more control over the sounds in their environment. My children all used headphones in school, and they were also an essential part of their bucket boxes. Alpine headphones are one option worth looking at.

Quiet games

A HSC may need something calming to focus on. Little brain teaser puzzles and logic and puzzle games can provide quiet, screen-free concentration without addling lots of extra stimulation. They are great to do alone, giving your HSC space. Note that games shouldn’t be taxing or difficult. The idea is to soothe, distract and calm.

Penguins on Ice was a favourite here.

Books

• Reading books
• “How To” drawing books
• Activity, colouring, word search and sudoku books

CDs

• Music CDs
• Audio Story CDs
• Kid meditation CDs

Other little items

• Stickers
• Stress balls
• Fidget toys (such as spinners and Tangle, which were always big hits in our house)
• Silly putty
• Drawing paper and pencils

My children also wrote bucket emptying ideas on a piece of paper as a prompt, which they hung in their rooms. These ideas ranged from jumping on their bikes and cycling their stress away to splashing their face with water.

Need more ideas for emptying your child’s bucket?

Sometimes you can clearly see that your child is overwhelmed, but you’re completely out of ideas about what might help.

101 Ways to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child Empty Their Bucket gives you 101 practical calming ideas to dip into when your child’s bucket is getting full – or, better still, to help prevent it from overflowing in the first place.

Why Having A Calm Down Kit Helps

The bucket boxes sat in each of the boys’ rooms. When they were clearly overwhelmed I say “bucket box” and they headed up to dig something out of their boxes to help them. They didn’t need to search for an item, or think about what they wanted to do. They could easily grab something and get busy with bucket emptying.

Just remember to regularly revisit the contents of the bucket box to ensure it is stocked with items that help your child as interests change and as they get older.

Explore what works for your child!

I’d love to hear about the bucket boxes you make: What’s in them? When are they used? Do they help?

*For your convenience, this post includes affiliate links to products useful for the HSK community. They cost you nothing more to buy, but I will earn a small commission, which goes towards the costs to keep the HSK site running.*