My Child is Highly Sensitive – Now What?

Do I need professional help for my highly sensitive child? The short answer is not necessarily. The long answer is more complicated.

Highly Sensitive is What You Are and Not What You Have

The most important thing to remember about being highly sensitive is this:

Highly sensitive is not a disorder.

Being highly sensitive doesn’t mean there is something wrong with your child, far from it. There are many amazing aspects to being highly sensitive.

Being highly sensitive is related to how your nervous system processes the world around you. It processes stimuli deeply and meticulously.

What makes a person highly sensitive is unique from person to person. As is the case with all personality traits.

Being highly sensitive is part of who you are and how you deal with the world. It is not something you have.

The realisation that your child is highly sensitive, whether uttered through the words of a teacher, social worker or psychologist, or self-discovered through reading and putting the puzzle pieces together, does not automatically equate to a problem with, or for, your child.

Being highly sensitive is not a problem to solve.

It’s about a set of traits that you need to understand and nurture.

When to Seek Professional Help

However, there may come a time when your child’s behaviour, (re)actions or emotional responses cause you concern and you need external or professional advice and support.

Here are some examples of problems that may lead you to seek professional help for a highly sensitive child:

• • Sleep issues or frequent nightmares
  • Sensory processing problems
  • Anger management issues
  • Eating problems
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Difficulty in social situations

This is by no means a comprehensive list. However, it gives you an idea of the type of problems that professional help is valid for.

There are therefore repercussions of highly sensitive traits that warrant professional help for a highly sensitive child.

My Story

I have a personal example of when professional help for a highly sensitive child is helpful.

Once my son started school we started seeing explosive emotional outbursts, likened to the type of meltdowns you would expect to see during the terrible twos (something we escaped with my eldest), during lunch breaks and at the end of the school day.

It was evident that school was too much. We were not getting adequate support from the school itself so we turned to professionals. A family counselor supported us for months. She gave us advice on how to help my son cope with his feelings and how to express them when he became so completely overwhelmed by the world around him.

In addition, we saw a child psychologist who turned out to be less effective in helping us than the family counselor as she needed to tick boxes on a checklist – and highly sensitive wasn’t on her list. She did however ensure that actual behavioural disorders were ruled out – which can be helpful when you are dealing with issues in school.

Finding the Right Kind of Professional Help for a Highly Sensitive Child

In my experience the quest for the right kind of help can be a frustrating one. There are many different types of therapy and it can be confusing to know where to start. A good place to begin can be your GP.

Get recommendations and make a list of potential professionals that can help. Not every professional dealing with children understands high sensitivity so finding someone who does is half the battle won.

Do I Need Professional Help for a Highly Sensitive Child?

The short answer is this:

When you discover you child is highly sensitive it does not mean you need to run to make an appointment with your pediatrician or a child counselor or psychologist. If your child displays extreme behaviour or responses then seeking professional help, in whatever form that is, is sensible.