Have You Made Your Child Highly Sensitive?

Are our children born highly sensitive or does our parenting make them highly sensitive? The age old question, nature or nurture.

A major issue parents of highly sensitive children commonly face is the family member or friend who suggests that we have made our children sensitive or “fussy”.

Such accusations (because let’s face it these kind of things are never said in a positive congratulatory tone) make us doubt ourselves and our parenting skills.

But they shouldn’t. Some of us are born highly sensitive. It’s innate. We are not made sensitive by our environment.

Facing Constant Criticism?

For instance, your husband tells you that you are merely being manipulated by your child.

And your mother-in-law insisting their grandchild is fine when you are not around.

There are looks from your friends as you battle yet another meltdown on the playground.

There’s that ‘helpful’ advice from a fellow father about bedtime and stress.

Your child’s teacher insists your child should get over herself and speak up and share her thoughts in the classroom. Or refuses to accept your child is overwhelmed in the classroom and dismisses your concerns.

There’s that uncle who doesn’t get why you can’t attend a family birthday party starting at 8pm – how much harm can one evening deviating from the routine cause?

It goes on: the criticism, being made to think you are raising your child wrong. Many of us end up with fleeting doubts – would our kids be less sensitive if we just got tougher with them?

You Know Your Child Best. From Birth.

As the parent of a highly sensitive child, you already know the answer. Most importantly, you know your child better than anyone.

A highly sensitive child has certain inherent innate character traits. It starts from birth. We have watched our babies natural reaction to external stimuli as they lie in their cot. And we have held them during those evening hours whilst they cry uncontrollably, seemingly about nothing.

Highly sensitive is real. Science has our back. You are not making your child sensitive or encouraging sensitive reactions to stimuli from the world around them.

Responding to the Needs of a Highly Sensitive Child

We are responding to our child’s needs. We aren’t mollycoddling them and definitely not ‘making them sensitive’. 

Yes, these children are sensitive to their environment and their environments  overstimulate them more easily than other children. But this is not a result of our parenting. It’s who they are. In other words, overstimulation is a result of how their nervous system processes stimuli.

Our highly sensitive children need others to accept that. We, as parents, need others to accept that.

Our parenting goal is to give our children the tools to manage their sensitivities in a non-sensitive world – to fill their rucksacks with tips and tricks that get them through their days in school and deal optimally with the situations they face.

Some of us are born sensitive. Period.