2016: Put Yourself in the Spotlight

I had planned to write a blog post first thing this morning, once the school run was done and dusted. Walking home from school I changed my mind. I realised I wasn’t quite ready to sit behind my computer and throw myself back into writing – not right then.

Instead I journaled for a little while. Then I sat and watched an episode of Downton Abbey whilst knitting some more of the scarf I am making for my eldest.

Put Yourself in the Spotlight

Whilst walking home from school I realised I have not been alone during the last two weeks. It was the reason I felt like the Christmas break was hectic, even though we weaved in lots of chill time into our fortnight. Although my bucket is and has not been overflowing for the past week, I did need to take some time out to empty some of it out. I needed time to clear my head. Take advantage of the quiet in the house before I pick my sons up for lunch and the house fills once more.

Last year I wrote about 2015 being the year that I hoped the snow would settle, and whilst it did to a certain extent, I am still placing unnecessary expectations upon myself. I am still putting myself last in the family chain. And I have vowed to do something about that this year.

When you are highly sensitive acknowledging your own need for solitude, quiet time and calm is so incredibly important. Grabbing that time when you can is vital. I know it, but often have problems acting on that need and carving out that time.

I sat down at the end of last week and captured my hopes and dreams for the new year. I set goals. One of my personal goals is to create more calm in my own mind – to close some of those browsers down that run constantly in the background. To listen to my own needs too.

If I am calm, my sons will be calmer too. If I seek out quiet, my sons will follow. If I accept the limitations of my bucket, I hope my sons will follow suit.

So I have kicked off today getting rid of the buzzing and nagging in my head – I have given myself permission to take time out, to listen to my own needs. Sometimes you just need to throw plans away or put them on hold and listen to yourself – put the spotlight on yourself. I hope it will help me help my children with their overflowing buckets when they come out of school at lunchtime….. they’re going to need it after a two week break from the classroom!

Over to You: Do you listen to your own needs? Do you help yourself before you help the rest of your family? Or is this something you struggle with?


About Amanda van Mulligen

Mother, writer, author, blogger. Born British, Living Dutch. I have three Dutch sons and a Dutch husband and I blog about Turning Dutch and raising highly sensitive children.
This entry was posted in Parenting as a HSP, The How and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to 2016: Put Yourself in the Spotlight

  1. Jen says:

    This post is in perfect sync with what I am doing. I was one of the winners of the “Soul Care Journal” give away and I can’t begin to describe what a blessing it’s been to do exactly what you are describing in this blog post. It helps to bring order to the chaos in my head. Makes everything on my to-do list seem so much less overwhelming. And most importantly it gets me on a path of daily making sure I am taking care of myself. If we don’t take care of ourselves, especially at mothers, there is no way we can ever take care of those around us – all our efforts will fall flat.

    How wonderful it is to have a place – even an online community – where other people can raise their hand and say “Me too!!”


    • Cheksea says:

      I love the idea of a “soul care journal” I may have to borrow that idea 🙂 Thank you!

      Chelsea -mother of 2 highly sensitive kiddos


  2. Lucinda Leo says:

    Amanda, I found your lovely blog just recently and I’m now enjoying following along. I like the sound of your Downton knitting retreat. 🙂

    We home educate, so for me today marked the end of my peaceful hours of working on my own hobbies and the start of a more full-on phase of ferrying my kids around their activities, in between maths and learning games. There were times today when I found myself craving solitude in the presence of my delightfuly full-on children!

    I hope that your children’s first days back at school went well.


    • Thank you for joining 😃 You’re putting ideas into my head now…. knitting and Downton Abbey retreats could be a big thing! My sons have done well today! I can imagine home schooling is tough on your need for aline time despite many other advantages!


  3. Ha! I did the same thing. Had plans to work after the school run, but when home and knit and listened to an audio book for an hour instead. Oh, the quiet!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fantastic! Sounds fantastic! Sometimes you just need to go with a feeling! And the best bit is that I didn’t feel at all guilty, or haunted that I should be doing something else. I hope I can carry that throughout the year!


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