How to Prepare a Highly Sensitive Child for a Medical Appointment

Ever been frustrated taking your highly sensitive child (HSC) to a medical appointment for the first time? Many parents of HSCs are faced with stressful scenarios. Sometimes there are tears and tantrums. Other times there is a complete lack of co-operation; a refusal to lie on the dentist’s chair, or read the eye test chart at all, for example. You certainly wouldn’t be the first parent of a HSC abandoning the dentist or doctor’s office before the appointment gets going. So how do you prepare a HSC for a medical appointment?

First Time Around

First things first, when I say medical I mean anything from a dentist to a doctor or hospital consultant, optician… you name it.

HSCs do not like the idea of that first visit to the dentist, doctor or paediatrician because they simply have no idea what to expect. They are faced with not only an unfamiliar situation but an unfamiliar person, an unfamiliar place and have no idea what will be expected of them or what they will face.

I’m a 40+ (you don’t need the specifics) highly sensitive person and I still have to battle with anxiety if I need to go somewhere I have never been before. It’s something that gets better over the years but a child needs to learn to cope with unfamiliar situations, little steps at a time. So try and see the situation through the eyes of a young child and certainly don’t dismiss their fears as irrational or petty.

HSCs think and reflect deeply so they have already pictured numerous potential outcomes of that dentist or doctor visit before you have got to the end of your sentence telling them about their upcoming appointment.

How to Prepare a Highly Sensitive Child for a Medical Appointment

Tips to Get Through That First Appointment

Here are a few ways you can help them successfully get through that first appointment.

  • Do your research when finding a dentist/doctor etc for your child. Those with a child friendly manner will put a HSC at their ease quicker than an abrupt business like medical professional – and believe me they exist everywhere. Get recommendations for practices which specialise in the care of children, that are great with kids not just in the treatment room but in the waiting room too. First impressions count and if an unfriendly receptionist is the first to greet your child it certainly won’t help get them calmly into the treatment room.
  • If necessary talk to a potential dentist or doctor about your child’s anxieties in new places and explain the likely scenario. Ask them how they would handle the situation.
  • Your HSC needs to feel safe. It’s a great idea to take your child with you to the dentist, for example, before they are actually the age when they need to go themselves. This way the environment and the faces are familiar before they need to lie in the treatment chair themselves. Let them watch you with the dentist – that way they will know it is safe. Just make sure it is only a check-up and not major root canal treatment…..
  • Our local hospital holds an annual open day and we make a point to go. That way my children are familiar with the environment, some of the rooms and wards and even some of the faces before they ever even need to go for an appointment there. They can explore the inside of an ambulance, dress up like a surgeon and get a plaster cast on their arm – they come into contact with a medical establishment in a fun way.
  • Each of my sons came with us to the dentist appointment before they turned three when they were due to start check ups themselves. The dentist then suggested that they lay on top of ‘mama or papa’ on the dentist’s chair so the dentist could count their teeth. They each felt safe because they were with one of us, and they knew nothing was going to happen beyond opening their mouths and having their teeth counted. The next time they went they were already familiar with what would be expected.
  • Role play going to and being at the dentist or doctor with your HSC so they will know at least a little about what to expect.
  • Suggest their favourite cuddly toy accompanies you to the appointment. The doctor or dentist can then show your HSC what they are going to do using the cuddly toy as a prop.
  • Talk to them, prepare them in advance (but not too far in advance to avoid unnecessary stress) for an appointment. Give them details and age appropriate information. Read books together about going to the dentist and doctor – anything to make the situation feel more familiar. Don’t spring an appointment on them on the day – that is generally setting you both us for a disastrous consultation.

If you go back a second or third time, if you are lucky, the situation is less dramatic.

Over to You

How have you prepared your HSC for medical visits? Share your successes and tips – or those nightmare first appointments that you have learnt from.


About Amanda van Mulligen

Mother, writer, author, blogger. Born British, Living Dutch. I have three Dutch sons and a Dutch husband and I blog about Turning Dutch and raising highly sensitive children.
This entry was posted in The How and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to How to Prepare a Highly Sensitive Child for a Medical Appointment

  1. Pingback: Time to Stress v Preparation Time: When to Tell a Highly Sensitive Children | Happy Sensitive Kids

  2. ToneTone says:

    Super post, thank you! This has been a huge issue for us; as a high mobility family we don’t always have the luxury of choice or finding the right clinic and building a relationship with staff in time. At our current GP’s, we have an unspoken agreement that the littlest one can take her time to mentally prepare and get ready before unpleasant things like vaccinations happen. She will sit in the chair for an extra 5 min and the nurses and doctor wait for her – I just block out the extra time when booking. It has worked so much better than the ’lets go there are more patients waiting’ approach. I also always make a point of telling staff that they can’t lie to my kids – they’ll ask if it hurts and if it is going to hurt, say yes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jen says:

    We definitely talk about it all ahead of time. With my son, also explaining the purpose and the necessity of the visit really helps him. He’s due for a shot right now and we’ve been talking about the reasons why we get them, protecting us from diseases that can cause more pain and discomfort than the shot alone. He came up with the idea that the shot is like putting shields in your body to protect you. I also made sure to tell him that even mom and dad have to get them too, so he wouldn’t feel so alone. I think knowing that it isn’t just him really helps him.

    Will he cry when we got to get the shot, most likely. But he will understand and hopefully, not be nearly as emotionally scarred.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love that analogy!! And definitely understanding why helps – prevention is better than cure is something older children get.


      • Jen says:

        We can’t take all the credit. There are two episodes of the PBS Curious George cartoon where George goes inside to chase out a germ called Toots. That really helped in his understanding!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh yeah… My son is 5.5 and refuses to go to the dentist. I took him with me the last time I went and the dentist is actually my uncle’s wife whom he loves. But still, he refused to sit in the chair or even come close to it. I’m gonna have to make a real effort to take him soon though. God knows what’s going on in that mouth of his.

    Oh and I have a memory of myself running around the pediatrician’a desk when I was 4, trying to avoid getting a shot, and both the doctor and my mom chasing me. Ever since, I have passed out during every blood test and vaccine. Every single one, until I got pregnant and tested toxo-negative which meant I had to go for blood tests very very often. It can be so hard for someone who is so aware of what is going on to take things lightly, and the physical pain of it has very little to do with the struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I still hate injections to this day – but am better than I once was. I remember my mum having to give me medicine in tablet form crunched up in a teaspoon of jam because I wouldn’t take them – and I got travel sick so had to take tablets for long car trips…..there were many dramas because of it. The plus side is I’m more understanding with my children when they are reluctant when it comes to medical things.


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